I don’t know
May 30, 2006I've never loved someone before
Or maybe it is my choice not to
Most of the time I didn't care
But now, this feeling is true
Independence Day?
May 28, 2006Last Wednesday, May 24, 2006, marked the second year I've been working. It is also the day that my contract with my company expires. I can choose to stay with or leave my company. It's all up to me.
It made me think of the things I really want to do. Sometimes it makes me sad finding myself in the office at 10pm. In front of the flickering computer monitor. Finishing something that can't wait for the next day. Beating deadlines. Fulfilling promises you committed with your superior. Whew!
Deep inside me, I'm screaming. I want to live my life the way I want it to be! I want to breathe fresh air! I want to travel the world with my family and my friends. I want to study abroad and go back to the Philippines to teach in a public institution! I want to inspire young souls! Be an instrument to better the lives of other people!
Yet my mind shrinks in uncertainty. I know it's normal but I hope that it won't prevent me from achieving my goals, dreams and aspirations in life. I won't allow this monster trap me in mediocrity.
And I'm back tapping the keyboard… working!
She
May 23, 2006I have been with her for four years. Experienced the highs and lows of my life with her. She taught me so many things. She made me see, feel and breathe freedom. She nurtured every single talent I have. Assured me that I am one of the few people God has made that will complete her, be a significant part of her life. Until that very day… the day that we parted ways. It sure depressed me. But what can I do? I have to face my own life and let her live her own. Stupid it may seem but it was really inevitable.
Awfully low?!
May 22, 2006This was exactly the feeling I felt when the day started. Yes, I was awfullly low… I need not discuss the details. I tried not to think about it but it was really something that I can't take out of my mind.
Nevertheless, I took extra steps - big steps that is, to do something that will make me feel lighter. Good thing my friends and I have scheduled to watch a movie tonight. Da Vinci Code. Was not actually amazed by it. Don't know why. Almost fell asleep in the middle of the movie.. Hahahaha. Right before the movie ends, the production support phone rang. Spoiled the movie. Went out of the movie house, attended to the phone call closely and decided to go back to the office. You're right, I guess I don't have a life!
So there and then, I started walking. I realized that I was the only one walking in the walkway. Stupid. No cars in the parking area, no people walking, nobody to talk to.
Was headed to the elevator when this beautiful barista went out of Starbucks. Hahahahaha.. Beautiful Tintin. What a great way to end your day. Then she introduced me to their new management trainee..
Jun: Hi Tintin
Tin: Hi Jun.. Jun, meet our new management trainee.
Jun: Why are you introducing him to me? Will he treat me a coffee?
Tin: E ang yaman yaman mo nga e!
Jun: Nyeee..
Tin: By the way, ang cute ng office nyo.
Jun: Kala ko ako.. Hahahaha
Tin: Kapal!
Not really a bad day afterall.. Right?
Sunday Syndrome
May 21, 2006I'm off to Makati at 4pm today. Not my usual Sunday routine. I need to get there at 7pm to fetch my laundry from the shop just a block away from my boarding house. I'll probably be going to a grocery store and buy stuff for the whole week or so. Then, I will be cooking something for my dinner.
I'm expecting that the coming week will be a total chaos. I need to do so many things with a seemingly very limited time. I don't want anything or anyone to mess up with my plan of watching a movie on Monday and playing badminton with my friends on Wednesday. Sometimes it's just so sad that you are not in control of your time…
A social one. Aims at the stars. Conservative with money - usually. Broad in ideas. Ideals applied to home. Aggressive socially. With high aspirations, sometimes too high! Loves freedom. Big-hearted, benevolent in attitude. Persistent and practical in work. Sometimes sportive. Loves children. Aspires onward......
