An Autumn Day Part I
July 27, 2006November 8, 2011. Another ordinary day in a foreign place. In three weeks' time I'm turning 28. I will be celebrating my birthday alone. No friends to laugh with, no family to sing the Happy Birthday song for me, no birthday cake this time and no candles to blow. Only the falling leaves are there for me. They will be dancing for me on my special day whilst the cold wind dictates the beat.
This morning, I went to the university library to finish my case study. That was, I think, a good way to make myself busy and for me to conquer boredom. I was in my thick brown coat. It looked like everyone else didn't feel the coldness of the weather except me. Coming from a tropical country with only two seasons, this whole place is really something alien for me. Thirteen degrees celsius is already too much for me. I can't imagine how I will deal with the wicked temperature when the winter comes.
When I arrived at the library, the only vacant table was the one at the corner, near the big window. The glass window was a bit misty. I can hardly see what was happening outside. I took my hankie out and wiped a portion of the window. A clear picture was suddenly painted. What was illustrated in the painting was a beautiful lady enjoying a book under a lofty tree. I stared at her for several minutes. I wished I knew her. I wished I could talk to her. I decided to go outside and sit on a chair across her. By the time I got outside of the library, she was no longer there. I still went to the exact place where she was. I waited for a few minutes thinking that she might be back after a while. An hour has passed but she still hasn't come back. I packed my things and decided to leave and have my lunch.
I headed to Breadeaux Pizza at Broadway Ave. I sat near the entrance, almost facing the door. The waiter approached me and asked for my order. I asked for a glass of mango juice, pepperoni pizza and bottled water. While waiting for my order, I was busy observing all the people in the restaurant. There was a group of MBA students on a corner probably discussing business and marketing stuff. I knew that they are MBA students because I always get to see them at the lobby of our main building. I'm almost certain that they are ahead of me by at least a semester.
My order was finally served. After sipping about half of the mango juice down, I saw the beautiful lady pass by. She was with a guy. The guy was taking a puff at his cigar while walking with her. I saw that they're enjoying each other's company because both of them were smiling and laughing.
I wanted to go after them but I wasn't done eating my food that time. I was thinking that the guy is probably her boyfriend.Of course, I was hoping that he's just her close friend or, better yet, her brother. (to be continued)
A Realization
July 22, 2006When I was a lot younger, I always find myself staring at the moon and the stars. Those times, I kept on wishing to have the best of everything. Hours of dreaming have led me to become more and more insecure. I have never acknowledged the good things I was constantly receiving. At one point, it made me ask God to make me a different person. I requested Him to make me someone else. Someone who possesses all the good things. And the dreaming continued, so was the insecurity.
When I started working, material things have become increasingly more appealing. They were like pots of gold that looked at me straight in the eye. This was probably the reason why I considered my work as my top priority. I thought that this would be my ticket to get what I want. After a year of working, I decided to pursue a graduate study. My busy schedule at work became more demanding than ever. What made it more difficult is the fact that I need to allot time for my schooling. Sure it isn’t an easy job. At times I get sick just thinking of how I’ll be able to do all of those things. I didn’t mind how I wasn’t able to get in touch with my friends because of my busy schedule. Yes, I constantly get text messages from them but I seldom reply to them. I missed a number of get-togethers. I failed to see most of them for a long time. I dropped the rare opportunities to laugh with them.
I always get to see my family every weekend, but I haven’t gone to the mall with them that often. I haven’t attended the Sunday mass with them ever since I started working. We haven’t spent quality time together that much. I go back home every weekend just to sleep the whole day, watch TV, listen to the radio, surf the Internet, eat, and eat more.
Months ago, we had our Department’s General Assembly at work. One of the topics was “Work-Life Balance.” I didn’t pay attention to what the speaker was saying. Maybe that time, I was in a denial stage. I said to myself that topic is very much relative. I may be working so hard, but who the heck cares? I’m enjoying it! I remember an officemate telling me to get a life. It really pissed me off. I thought to myself, “Who the hell are you to tell me what to do? Mind your own life.” Then, I went straight to my cubicle, put my earphones on and set the volume of my audio player to maximum. I have proven once again that it only takes a nice song to make me feel better. After that day, everything was back to normal.
Last June, I took a vacation to Baguio City with some friends. After having breakfast in a restaurant at Camp John Hay, I stopped for a while to take a closer look at the green grass and tall trees. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the smell of pine trees. The feeling was really good. I said to myself that this is life. Simple yet enriching experience it was. It made me realize that one doesn’t need to be on top to be happy. One doesn’t need to have everything to find new friends. One doesn’t need a number of degrees to earn trust. I’m not saying that I don’t need my job and another degree. Of course, I need them but they should not be my top priority. Besides, when I leave my work, they can easily get a replacement for me. If there are relationships I need to start or keep building on, these are the relationships I have with my family and friends. And I believe that they deserve to be on the top of my list.
—————————————-
To achieve big things has been my goal ever since
And I believe that it will always be
But these things should not be used as a sole measure of my self-worth
My relationships with my family and friends are far more important than them
Tomorrow, when I wake up
A new set of priorities will be laid down
Fresh perspective, new set of colors, pristine textures
A carefree soul will be born
— jun
Lazy, Inefficient Hospital Personnel
July 19, 2006This afternoon, I went to a hospital here in Lucena to consult with my doctor. I went straight to the Out Patient Department Building and headed to my doctor’s room. I came there at 1:30pm. I forgot that her schedule is 9am-1pm and 2-6pm weekdays. So I waited until 2pm. When the clock ticked at 2:00pm, there was still no trace of my doctor. Not even her secretary was there. It pissed me off. Thirty minutes later, her assistant arrived. I went inside the room and signed up. I thought my doctor will arrive just a few minutes after her secretary, but I was wrong. She arrived after another thirty minutes.
After my doctor has given me prescriptions, she asked me to get a form of MEDICARD at another room. So I went outside and looked for Room 101. Ms. Badluck greeted me and said that the person in-charge was in another building. Holy crap! Don’t they know that everyone is on a hurry? Aren’t they expecting that their clients are sick? That their clients can’t afford to wait for hours? Ugh, common sense please.
And the MEDICARD staff finally came. She asked for my card. Ms. Badluck greeted me once more. My card was not in my wallet. I don’t know where it was. I’m not sure if I lost it or maybe it is just in my boarding house in Makati. I contacted my dentist in Makati and asked for my card number. That inconsiderate MEDICARD staff raised her voice and told me “I NEED THE CARD, NOT THE NUMBER!!!” Ok, ok, I’ll just pay the consultation fee.
All these things happened while my chest was aching and while my head was burning like hell. Grrrrrr…
Simply bored
July 18, 2006I’m tired. Really. I don’t feel like working today. I want to sleep. I wanna go home. I want to see my family back in the province. I want to droop on our couch and just watch TV. I want to sit outside our house and feel the cold, gusting wind upon my face. I want to see my dad and go to the mall with him to look for new house fixtures. I want to do so many things but I simply can’t leave my work. 
Now I’m getting somewhere…
July 17, 2006I have finally installed the new versions of Apache Webserver, MySQL and PHP in my laptop. I’ll be using these tools to develop a simple web application for my friend’s friend. I’ve met with her already last Friday to discuss the system requirements. At first, I thought it was very simple. But as I revisit what we have agreed upon, I found functionalities that need to be defined as well. In short, it’s a bit complicated now.
The good side is that I’ll be able to put my web programming skills into work one more time. I haven’t done any project using these tools for quite a long time now. This is the perfect time to review such stuff as I’ll be using it in my class as well.
I’m so excited to finish this project. I’m hoping that I’ll have enough drive to really finish it. What kind of push do I need? I don’t know… Hahahaha 
A social one. Aims at the stars. Conservative with money - usually. Broad in ideas. Ideals applied to home. Aggressive socially. With high aspirations, sometimes too high! Loves freedom. Big-hearted, benevolent in attitude. Persistent and practical in work. Sometimes sportive. Loves children. Aspires onward......
