The Prayer

I have been spending hours and hours at night on the rooftop of our building for the past three days. The view from there is superb. It made me appreciate Makati even more. The tall buildings glow like stars. They are very much relaxing to look at.

The calmness of the vista was accompanied by occasional cool breeze. A gust of air is like heaven these days considering that the past week has been the hottest week I have ever experienced in my entire life. No kidding. Walking along de la Rosa St. in Makati at 3pm is like letting hell eat you. Whew!

Last night, after changing clothes, I went straight to the rooftop. I was contentedly seated in a white metal chair. Nothing new about the view — same Makati skyline. Not so exciting but still very soothing to look at. The only difference was that the wind was colder that time compared to the previous nights.

While looking intently at the clear sky, I prayed. I was thinking about so many things that time. I asked God for a favor. I don’t know if I was able to communicate with Him what I really want. But I did my best to make Him understand. I know he understood it. He knows me for sure and he knows what I want.

At the end of my prayer, I asked God to give me a sign. I don’t really believe in signs and stuff. I don’t know why I asked Him for one. I asked Him for rain. And I gave him a deadline. Demanding me. I asked Him for rain before the next 48 hours expires.

Come to think of it, with the temperature shooting up to 36.8 degrees Centigrade, I wouldn’t expect that it would rain in the coming days. But I was wrong. While I was walking my way to the office today, with the very hot temperature, it rained! I couldn’t believe it. I was telling myself, “God, it is raining! It’s raining.” I can’t remember the number of times I uttered those words. But it was really amazing. The more surprising thing is that the rain lasted for just less than 5 minutes. After that, the summer sun is back.

It made me realize how faithful God really is.

Gone are the days

Gone are the days when I drank more than a pitcher of draft beer, glasses and glasses of margarita, bottles of vodka cruiser and shots of gin. I’m not missing the alcoholic drinks, though. It’s the people whom I spent time drinking with that I do miss.

Gone are the days when I played badminton every Wednesday for at least two straight hours. I miss it a bit. But it’s the people whom I spent time playing badminton with that I miss more.

Gone are the days when I spent long hours studying for exams and finishing papers, projects and other school stuff. Sure, I miss it. But it’s the people who inspired me to do these things that I miss all the more.

Gone are the days when I rendered extended hours at the office finishing the tasks that were assigned to me. I’m sure as hell that I miss it. But it’s my teammates who eventually became my friends that probably got me going that time. And I admit that I miss them.

Gone are the days when I spent hours chatting with my friends over a cup of coffee or tea in Starbucks. The sweet aroma of coffee still lingers but the warmth and comfort of the friendship remained in my mind even more.

Gone are the days when I loved every single thing I was doing. The times when simple things made me smile and lightened my spirit. I miss my old self. I really do.

The "Ok" Button

There are times in our lives that we find ourselves in situations that the only thing we could do is to just accept things the way they are. It's like when a pop-up window appears in your computer monitor with only the "Ok" button activated. You've got no choice but to click it for you to go to another process and continue with your task. Not even the "Cancel" button is present. Unfair it may seem, but that's probably how life works. The more we deny that idea, the heavier the situation gets and the harder it is for us to get going.

Some people would say that the reason why things happen would eventually be revealed to us. On when it will be uncovered, we can't tell. Sometimes I'm skeptical about this idea. I'm thinking that people just try to look for a consolation prize to lessen the negative effect of the situation. I look at it as some sort of defense mechanism. We can’t blame anyone for this. If thinking that way would help us cope up faster with the situation, then maybe that’s a good thing to do. Just maybe.

Whether we have a choice or not, the best thing to do is to learn how to accept things. Easier said than done, I know. And I can't even claim that I'm good at it. It's still a struggle for me up to this point. But who knows, maybe one day I'll wake up and realize that whatever has happened, is happening and will happen, are pieces of the puzzle that in due course will be complete. And by then a clear picture will finally be painted.

S U N D A Y

I got off the bus at EDSA-Ayala at around 7:30 last night. ‘Twas quite hot that time. I headed straight to a shop in Glorietta to buy some blank DVDs. Then, I had my dinner at KFC. I enjoyed a hot and crispy chicken — thigh part. (Ok, ok, I lied. Only the leg and wing parts were available that time so I had no choice but to have a thigh part - classic flavor). After that, I went to Powerbooks in Greenbelt and stayed there for almost an hour. I have found a new hobby. Yes! I now enjoy reading non-technical books. But I guess the book that I'm reading right now is still an informative one. I have been reading that book for more than 3 weeks now. Kinda cool. I have turned Powerbooks into a library. Free reading while sitting on a platform with a nice carpet. Though there's a note there that says "Thank you for not sitting," I always find myself comfortably seated there every time I visit Powerbooks. Delinquent me. Hehehehe.

After a tiring day, I went to Ayala terminal to take a jeepney ride going back home. I got off the jeepney at Evangelista St. and enjoyed a long walk afterward. I'm starting to re-learn living the life I used to live (won't discuss the details here…) If the saying "Just keep on walking and you'll find yourself where you want to be," is true, I would wish that I’m still walking even in my dreams.

The Journey

A long, long road,
I am traveling.
Dark, muddled and cold,
Frightening.

Falling leaves,
Empty branches.
Rotten seeds,
Broken twigs.

Nameless faces,
Unfamiliar places.
Weird voices,
And flowing tears.