The “gigantic ice cream thing” ended when we left the first town we performed in. Going to another town means leaving my new found friends behind. During that time, I asked a lot of questions like “Why do we have to move to another town? Can’t we just stay here? People here are watching us anyway.” I just didn’t understand the whole thing.

At a very young age, I struggled. I had to learn how to play this rough game. It was tough. It’s like enjoying a lollipop for a few seconds and then someone will have to take it away from you. “How rude!” that’s what I always tell myself. That is all I can do that time. I can’t remember an instance I cried. If I did, I’m sure no one saw me.

I was six when we went to a city to perform. I learned that we will be staying there for at least three months. The idea was not exciting at all. I was afraid of meeting a new friend and eventually leaving him/her behind. During my spare time, I just strolled in the streets and stared at different buildings. I enjoyed it the most at night because of the flickering lights that fascinated my eyes.

A month has passed and I haven’t met a “potential friend.” I was happy that time. I told myself that at least I won’t be dealing with another sad goodbye two months from now.

In my usual night routine of walking in the city streets, I met Juan - a boy of 7. A year older than me. He was alone, weeping. “Oh God! This could not be happening. He’s not a potential friend,” I told myself. But still, I approached him. I asked him if he’s ok. A stupid question I may say. He didn’t say a word. He just turned his back a bit on me to hide his tears. I don’t know what I was thinking that time but I stayed beside him. I think he was starting to get irritated that time. I was able to sense that he wanted me to leave. With my assertive nature, I waited. When I knew he was already calm, I offered him my candies and my favorite toy car. He then smiled.

I don’t know what to feel the moment he smiled. Should I be happy because I found a new friend or should I feel sad because I will be leaving him sooner or later? I just didn’t think too much about it. I told myself that I will deal with it later.

Since then, walking along the city streets became more enjoyable. I was no longer just talking to myself. I have now a friend whom I can share my thoughts with. We both enjoyed the bright lights, my candies and my (or should I say “our”) favorite toy car. We have talked about his life and my life. His family and my family. His dreams and my dreams. Of course, those were not as deep as the discussions of the grown-ups. But I can say that those were sincere discussions.

On my way back to our campsite, after strolling in the city with my friend, the thought of leaving another friend hit me. The idea lingered for hours that I was not able to get enough rest that night.

After two months and a half, I’m starting to think of ways on how to make saying goodbye to a friend easier. Honestly, I can’t think of any that time. I just decided that I will talk to him about it some other time.

A week before we leave the city, I talked to Juan – my bestfriend. I told him that we will be leaving soon to go to another place. Probably a town hundred of miles away from the city. I knew that time that he wasn’t comfortable with the idea. Neither was I. What he just told me that time was, “Can I borrow your toy car?” We never talked again about my leaving that day.

The next day, he was the one who bravely opened the topic. He asked me if I’ll still be his bestfriend when I leave. If we will be able to stroll along the city streets again once I’m gone. “How about the candies? And our favorite to toy car?” he asked. I just laughed at his questions while tapping his shoulders.